If Harry Potter Had Facebook
by AliciaMarieL
Summary: MY FIRST ATTEMPT AT A PARODY. Please be kind. Title speaks for itself.


_**Disclaimer: I don't own Facebook, Harry Potter, or any of the characters. If I did, I wouldn't be working every day. Or living with my Mom. **_

_**So, yes. I KNOW. Facebook didn't exist when Harry Potter took place. But, let's pretend it did. Each Chapter will be different books. I'm not going in order, so I won't be Philosopher's/Sorcerer's Stone first. I'll be jumping books and stuff. It will say in Chapter Titles which book. It will be from Harry's point of view. So when it says "You and 15 others like this", it's YOU as in Harry. THIS IS A PARODY.**_

_Comments will be Italics.  
><em>Names will be underlined.  
><strong>Statuses will be bold.<br>**_**Dates and whatnot that I need will be like this.  
><strong>__Likes will be like this. And Likes on Comments Will be (Like This)  
><em>**If a name is like this in a status, it means someone's been tagged.**_  
><em>_**  
><strong>_

_**June 30**__**th**__**, 1997**_

Harry Potter: **R.I.P Dumbledore… **

_**June 31**__**st**__**, 1997**_

Ginny Weasley **Is Now Single**

_**July 3**__**rd**__**, 1997**_

Harry James Potter: **Ugh. Back at the Dursleys. NOT HAPPY. Damn you, Snape.  
><strong> Ron Weasley: _Harry, chill._  
><span> Nymphadora Tonks: <span>_You're there for now. ;)  
><em>Harry James Potter: _?  
><em> Mad-Eye Moody: _Nymphadora, don't say anything. Death Eaters could be trolling Potter's page._

_**July**__**6**__**th**__**, 1997**_

Nymphadora Tonks **Is Now In A Relationship With **Remus Lupin  
><em>You, Molly Weasley and 12 Others Like This<br>_Molly Weasley: _Finally, Remus! Everyone's coming by for dinner tonight. I hope to see you two there!  
><em>Mad-Eye Moody: _Constant Vigilance, you two. We don't need Nymphadora unable to help the Order because you've knocked her up.  
><em>Nymphadora Tonks: _Thanks, Mad-Eye. And of course, Molly!_

_**July 7t**__**h**__**, 1997**_

Hermione Granger: **Off to the Burrow. I'll always miss you, Mum and Dad.**_  
><em>Ron Weasley: _?  
><em>Hermione Granger: _I'll explain later, Ronald.  
><em>Harry James Potter: _Next status is going to Snape is at the Burrow. Everyone's there before me._

_***10 Minutes Later***_

Fred Weasley: **Snape's at The Burrow!  
><strong>Harry James Potter: _Wait- what?  
><em>George Weasley: _Jokes, Harry!  
><em>Fred Weasley: _We saw you post it on Granger's status._

_**July 10**__**th**__**, 1997**_

Nymphadora Tonks **Is Now Married To **Remus Lupin  
><em>Molly Weasley, Hermione Granger and 12 Others like this<br>_Harry James Potter: _Oh wow. Congratulations!  
><em>Andromeda Tonks: _*Still disapproves*  
><em>Ted Tonks: _My little girl. All married and grown up!  
><em>Nymphadora Tonks: _Thanks, Harry! And Mum, grow up!  
><em>Charlie Weasley: _Andy got told! (__Fred Weasley and George Weasley Like This)_

_**July 27**__**th**__**, 1997**_

Harry James Potter: **At the Burrow! R.I.P Mad-Eye…..**

Nymphadora Tonks: **Constant Vigilance, Mad-Eye. R.I.P.**

Ted Tonks: **I MET HARRY POTTER! **

Ted Tonks **Is Now Friends With **Harry Potter

Remus Lupin: **Someone betrayed us. I bet it was Mundungus.**

_**July 31**__**st**__**, 1997**_

Ron Weasley: **Happy Birthday to Harry! Love you, Mate! **  
><span>Draco Malfoy: <span>_Oh Look, Weasel's gay for Potter!_**  
><strong>Hermione Granger: _Shut it, Malfoy. Ronald's with me._

Nymphadora Tonks: **Ugh.  
><strong>Molly Weasley: _Everything okay, dear?  
><em>Nymphadora Tonks: _Yeah. Just brilliant.  
><em>Molly Weasley: _Would you and Remus like to come for dinner tonight? We're celebrating Harry's birthday.  
><em>Nymphadora Tonks: _We'd love to, Molly. What time?  
><em>Molly Weasley: _Come at 3. I want to talk to you._

_**August 1**__**st**__**, 1997**_

Molly Weasley: **My little boy's getting married…The years have passed too fast.  
><strong>_Bill Weasley, Fleur Delacour and 5 Others Like This  
><em>

Nymphadora Tonks: **Awkward.  
><strong>Charlie Weasley: _?  
><em>Nymphadora Tonks: _You, Charlie. You are awkward.  
><em>Charlie Weasley: _How so?  
><em>Nymphadora Tonks: _Just cause._

Harry Potter: **I could be doing more important things, but…What The Hell? I'm going to a wedding.**

Bill Weasley: **Nymphadora Tonks,**** my wedding's going to beat yours!  
><strong>Nymphadora Tonks: _Only because you've been planning it for a year. I got married first though. Don't forget._

_***Sometime passes* **_

_**August 30**__**th**__**, 1997**_

Nymphadora Tonks **Is Now Single  
><strong>_Charlie Weasley Likes This_**  
><strong>Andromeda Tonks: _ …..I would say I told you so…..but, I won't.  
><em>Molly Weasley: _What?No way!  
><em>

Harry James Potter: **Haven't been here in a few years. HECK YES. **

Kingsley Shacklebolt: **People should stop disappearing. Honestly. Without word to anyone? I'm starting to think half of you are dead.  
><strong>Nymphadora Tonks: _I'm not! I just haven't talked to any of you lately! Keep in touch, okay?  
><em>Kingsley Shacklebolt: _We know you're not dead, Dora, don't worry. It's mostly the trio, Remus and the others who have just up and disappeared. I will keep in touch!_

George Weasley: **We're still running WWW, everyone! Owl Order (For Now)_  
><em>**

_***More time…Tis now November! Oh! Imagine that.***_

Hermione Granger: **That foul git!  
><strong>(Via Mobile)

Nymphadora Tonks **Is Married To **Remus Lupin  
><em><span>Molly Weasley, Nymphadora Tonks and 10 Others Like This<span>_  
>Andromeda Tonks: <em>Again. Honestly? <em>

Bill Weasley: **Damn, boy. You've messed up.  
><strong>Fleur Delacour: _Je suis d'accord. Garçon stupide. __**((I agree. Stupid boy.))**_

_****Sorry. I'm skipping more!**  
>March 25<strong>__**th**__**, 1998**_

Molly Weasley: **Nymphadora Tonks****, you didn't get a Bridal Shower, dear! At least let us throw you a baby shower!  
><strong>Nymphadora Tonks: _Us, as in you? No, Molly. The time's aren't right.  
><em>Molly Weasley: _Don't be silly, dear. You deserve one!  
><em>Nymphadora Tonks: _Molly, I appreciate everything. Really I do. I don't need a baby shower. _

Remus Lupin: **It's a sad day when you're a little scared of your wife.**  
><em>Nymphadora Tonks Likes This<br>_George Weasley: _Mr Werewolf, you have earned yourself a life of jokes for this one.  
><em>Remus Lupin: _…_

Bill Weasley: **Never a dull day in this war. Oh well.  
><strong>Kingsley Shacklebolt: _What's happened now?  
><em>Bill Weasley: _They're all here. Showed up last night with a dead house elf.  
><em>Kingsley Shacklebolt: _Merlin._

Harry Potter: **R.I.P Dobby…**

Luna Lovegood: **Thank you, Dobby. For saving me. R.I.P.**

_*****AND, OH. Skipping more time! Don't mind me.*****_

Remus Lupin: **It's a boy! For once, I'm happy!  
><strong>_Molly Weasley, Bill Weasley and 15 Others LikeThis  
><em>Molly Weasley: _What's his name?  
><em>Remus Lupin: _Teddy Remus Lupin.  
><em>Fleur Delacour: _He looks like who? __**((Fleur's French, so yeah. Let's say her English is bad.))  
><strong>_Remus Lupin: _I think he's like her. She thinks he looks like me!  
><em>George Weasley: _For Once? LOL._

_****Skipping more time. Don't mind me.*****_

Harry James Potter: **Voldemort's dead…R.I.P Snape, Tonks, Lupin, Fred, Colin, Lavender. Thank you all. **

Hermione Granger: **R.I.P Snape, Lupin, Tonks, Fred, Colin and Lavender!**

Ron Weasley: **R.I.P Fred, Snape, Tonks, Lupin, Colin and Lavender.**

George Weasley: **R.I.P Fred…**

Andromeda Tonks: **Remus, Nymphadora, I'll miss you. I'll watch Teddy for you. **

_**And that's the first chapter. But, final book. …. Yeah. Lol **_


End file.
